Tricks And Treats
by CreatureHanstran
Summary: Thor quickly learns about Halloween, and what it is all about. (OneShot)


**Happy Halloween to all of my viewers who celebrate it! Sadly I spent it in a hotel room and didn't get candy!**

 **Anyway, enjoy this little one shot that I thought of yesterday...**

 **Happy Halloween!**

 **It is currently 8:52 pm**

 **Enjoy!**

 **~CreatureHanstran~**

* * *

Jessica Parker stared at her wardrobe, so many options, but yet so few things she wanted to wear. A pair of arms wrapped around her waist, "Whatcha doin?" Her boyfriend Pietro asked, "

Ugh, I'm trying to find a costume to wear to Tony's halloween party tomorrow... But I don't know what to go as."

Pietro looked at the closet, "Hm... well, you can think about it later, because Tony wants to talk to us." Jess sighed, "Come on let's go."

"So, as you all know, I am throwing a Halloween party tomorrow, it's going to be totally awesome, but, I'm going to assign you guys costumes."

"Wait, what?" Jess asked,

"You guys are going to be assigned costumes."

"That is literally the dumbest idea I think I've ever heard." Clint said,

"So here are the costume assignments..." Tony continued, ignoring Clint, "Jess, you're going to be dressing as Cap, Cap, you get the honor as dressing as me, I'll dress as Nat, Nat will dress as Pietro, Pietro will dress as Clint, Clint will dress as Wanda, and Wanda will dress as Jess."

The Avengers all looked at each other, "I'm not dressing as a girl." Clint said,

"And why do I have to dress as Cap?" Jess asked,

"What's so wrong with the way I dress?" Steve asked,

Jess looked at him, "You wear spandex for cryin out loud!"

"At least I wear clothes..." Steve muttered,

"Hey, I heard that! I'm not afraid to hit an old man!"

"Enough! The decisions are final." Tony said.

Jess sighed, "Fine."

 **~At Party...~**

"Damn Nat, how can you dress like this?" Tony asked, picking a wedgie,

Nat shrugged, "You chose to dress like me."

"I think next year I'll dress like Jess."

Clint walked up to them, "I feel dumb."

Tony suppressed a laugh at the sight of Clint wearing a dress. Nat handed him a beer, "Hey, you make a great looking girl... Better than Tony does."

"Yeah..." Tony laughed, "...Hey!"

Jess and Pietro walked up, "I hate you Tony." Jess said,

"You look good." Tony smirked,

"I'll kill you."

"You make a nice Pietro." Pietro said to Nat, then he looked at Clint and laughed, Clint just glared at him.

The team chatted for a bit, "Where is your counterpart Jess?" Tony asked,

"I don't know, where is Wanda?" Jess asked Pietro,

"She had trouble getting your outfit on, so she might be late."

"My outfit is not that bad... Where is Cap?" Tony shrugged, "Probably too embarrassed to be seen as you." Jess chuckled,

"And maybe Wanda is too embarrassed to be seen as you." Tony shot back.

Jess growled, "Let's go Pietro." She dragged him away from the group.

* * *

Thor arrived at the tower after checking up on Jane, inside were a bunch of strangely dressed people, he walked around, hoping to find one of his friends. At the bar he saw the familiar red, white, and blue of Captain America, only, he seemed a lot thinner with a more feminine build. Thor approached him, "Steve, what is-" Steve turned around... Only it wasn't Steve,

"Thor?"

"...Jessica?" He looked at her,

"Oh... Yeah, there is an explanation behind... this." Thor looked confused, "Come on, I'll take you to Tony." She led Thor through the crowd.

Tony was talking to Rhodey when Jess walked up, "Hey, it's Captain Jess, who's this? Nice Thor costume." Tony said,

Jess facepalmed, "You drunk idiot! This _is_ Thor!"

"Oh... Hey buddy, glad you could make it." He put a hand on Thor's shoulder.

Thor gave him a look, "Why is this man dressed like a woman?"

Jess sighed in frustration, mostly directed at a drunk Tony, "You didn't hear? Oh this poor man doesn't know what halloween is!" Tony exclaimed,

"No, we do not have such a thing on Asgard..."

"Ooh that's so sad!" Tony fake cried,

"Please, what is this 'Halloween' you speak of?"

"Well, it's a day when children dress up in costumes and they go around and get candy." Jess explained,

"Then there are the people who like to prank others because it's funny as shit!" Tony laughed,

"Pranks? This sounds like the doing of Loki!"

"No! Not everyone pulls pranks." Jess said, slapping Tony across the back of his head, "It is mostly about the candy."

"How does one acquire the candy?" Thor asked,

"Good question, follow me."

* * *

"Jessica, I think using my kids to get candy is wrong." Clint said from the back seat,

"Nonsense, they're totally fine with getting more candy and spending time with Aunt Jess, right kids."

"Yeah." the kids agreed, Clint sighed,

"So what am I supposed to do?" Thor asked,

"You are going to come with me and the kids and watch, don't say anything just watch."

"Then what?"

"We keep 50% of the profit."

"50?" Cooper asked, "That wasn't in the deal."

"You have candy from going with your mom you can give some away."

"Dad!" Cooper protested,

"I think it seems fair, and besides, your not giving away all of your candy from the night, just this run, right Jess."

"I guess." She sighed. They pulled up to a subdivision, "Subdivisions are the goldmines of halloween candy." Jess said, parking the car, "Let's go." She got out, Thor and the kids followed. Jess approached the door, "Okay, you know what to do." She said to the kids.

They both nodded and knocked on the door. An old lady opened the door, "Trick or treat!" The kids said,

"Oh, what nice Avengers costumes you guys have, best ones I've seen all night." She put some pieces of candy into the kids' buckets,

"Thank you." the kids said,

"You're welcome, have a nice night."

"You too." Jess said with a smile.

The old lady closed the door, "That was all? They just give you candy for coming to their doorstep?"

"Well, kind of." Jess said,

"That is so simple... I must try!" He ran off to the next house,

"Thor! Wai- Ugh!"

"Aunt Jess he's gonna get all the candy!" Lila whined,

"C'mon, let's go get him." Jess said, heading back to the car.

* * *

"How did I do?" Thor asked when they got back to the tower,

"That was terrible... But I won't complain."

"Did you take him out pranking?" Tony asked,

"No Tony, we are not going to engage in juvenile activities."

"I think it'll be fun, what do you think Thor?"

"I will not engage in such petty activities."

"Suit yourself, I am going myself though." Tony grabbed a duffle bag,

"...What's in the bag?" Jess asked,

"Toilet paper..." Tony said, unzipping the bag a little to reveal rolls of toilet paper,

"That is such a waste, no wonder the environment is so crappy!"

Tony shrugged, "I have money to waste... See ya!" He left the two standing in the room by themselves,

"...I have a plan." Jessica said, looking at the closet where Tony left his stock of toilet paper.

* * *

"This is very amusing." Thor said as he tossed the toilet paper across the room,

"Oh, we aren't finished yet." Jess smirked and went onto the she was finished, the tower looked like a giant misshapen mummy, Jess laughed, "Awesome."

"Jessica, I thank you for showing me the ways of this Halloween, my friends on Asgard will find this quite enjoyable."

"Hey, no problem man, but, you have to do one thing." She handed him the last roll of toilet paper.

* * *

Loki was heading back to his room after thinking of ways to get rid of Thor. He opened the door to his room, the entire interior was covered with a white paper substance. Loki looked around in disbelief, "...THOR!"


End file.
